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Saturday, November 28, 2009

SO... :/

Middle school is alright. It could be better, but I guess it's ok. Sure, I might be a B Student, but this is my schedule:

  • Advanced World History
  • Intro to Advanced Algebra
  • Advanced P.E.
  • Biology
  • Advanced English
So I guess my B's are ok. And I'm in six clubs. Isn't it understandable?

Anyways, I can't really say much without worrying if anyone I don't want to read this.

I think I'm going to become an asexual. Love is overrated. Not all girls love love. I've been single my whole life and have been doing fine. (ish) I don't NEED love.

Love is old. Overrated. You don't NEED it. Or at least, I don't need it.

Or want it. Whatever. It's complicated, and for what? A hug? A kiss?

I don't need it.

Anyways, besides my empty love life, my life has been going...blah. Life is dull.

I've never been to Forever 21. H&M. Can't. It's not that I'm so busy, but my parents.

I live far away from my school. In the hills. Places I want to go-to the mall with my friends, watch a movie with a bud-I've never done that.

Last year, my dad told me to wait until 13. Apparently I'm going to be kidnapped in a movie theatre.

This year, my parents' schedules are packed. Even if I was 13, I can't go anywhere. I need a ride. They're not home.

So this is why most of my life consists of me bored at home, doing absolutely nothing at all.

We go to parties to people I don't know. While they're partying and chatting with their friends I'm bored and alone.

Or we go to my little brother's best friend's house. I hate going there, but they tell me that I'm selfish.

I can't tell my parents to quit their jobs so I can hang out with my friends. I just wanted to be...trusted a little bit, you know?

It's just not fair.

But I've never been to a friend from my school's house unless we absolutely HAVE to, or it's a party. Never just to hang out.

If my parents don't know them, they won't let me.

I hate Santa Claus. I want to know that someone will still care about me enough to give me a present, not caring if I was bad or not.

But I'll try to be good, because this year, I want something-a social life.


Remy Ma said...

Hope you have a good year next year

Levi said...


I never really understood asexuality. But if that fits you, go ahead.

I know I need love. I don't handle being single very well. I've been rather depressed the last few weeks because of my singleness.

I like having a relationship. It takes my mind off of being alone, and I can focus on making progress with my life. I can't focus on doing that without someone. I've tried. I need someone to motivate me, to be there by my side.

Anyways, I don't know what to tell you about the whole parents thing. I really didn't start socializing until... well, just recently. Last summer, I guess. My parents were the opposite, they WANTED me to socialize and go out and do things.

So... yeah. Good luck with everything. :l

Leah said...

*high fives* Go single girls! But you don't need to be asexual! *hug* It will all get better!

Emerald said...

I don't think anyone neccesarily needs love. We can live and breathe without it.
But it's the assurance that your not alone in the world, the thought that maybe you've actually found the very one who will always understand you and be there for you that keeps you warm at night.
You don't need love to live and breathe.
And it's a hard thing to let go, especially when you felt like you were so close, you could as if touch it.
But I understand.
Don't get too wrapped up in the thought that you need love to soon Dibsy.
That's a mistake I first made way back in second grade, and it's been turning me for a loop ever since.